- Grocery shopping means you are buying food for two households
- You have a disabled parking permit on the dashboard and a “baby on board” sign in the back window of your car
- You spend Friday nights doing your parents’ laundry
- You have the number of your parents’ homecare agency and the kids’ school on speed dial
- You can keep up your end of a technical conversation with the pharmacist even though you are not medically trained
- You cook as much in your parents’ kitchen as you do your own
- The doctor’s office staff no longer ask how you are related to whichever patient you are calling about
- You are supervising medications for both your parents and your kids
- The concierge at your parents’ condo building sees your car and automatically opens the garage door for you
- Every time THEY go on vacation you have to stop and restart their support services and every time YOU go on vacation you have to arrange additional services
- Your kids and parents are both eating pureed food
- You have a ready-to-go stash of welcome baby and sympathy cards in the same drawer
- You can quote Mr. Rogers and Mr. Ed
- You sing “You are My Sunshine” with your kids and your parents
- Seeing your parents’ or the school’s telephone number pop up on your phone makes you nervous
- You are buying Ensure and Pediasure
- The trunk of your car is big enough to hold either a stroller or a wheelchair – or both
- At least one of your kids and one of your parents are wearing “incontinence garments” at the same time
- Your kids and parents are losing teeth at the same time
- You are constantly walking back and forth to the buffet table to refill your kids and your parents’ plates with food
- Your kids and your parents are attending the same driving school
- You play board games with your kids and parents to help keep their minds stimulated
- Having your parent or your teenager away on a trip entails the same security precautions – asking where they’ll be when, who’ll they’ll be with and how to reach them
- You’ve got barrier cream for your parents and your kids
- You buy birthday cards for your kids from your parents and buy birthday cards for your parents from your kids
- You are encouraging your kids and your parents to eat more vegetables
- You help your kids and your parents with making their selection from the menu when eating out
- You worry your kids or your parents may get lost in the transit system
- You carry extra bandages in your purse in case your kids or parents fall and scrape their knees
- A sleepover means you have your mother sleep at your place while your daughter is sleeping over at her friend’s
- You spend “date night” with your spouse checking out retirement homes
- You can’t decide if your kids or your parents tell better “stories”
- You are sourcing childcare and adult day programs at the same time
- You have to remind your kids and your parents to eat using their cutlery during the same meal
- You are counting the minutes until your kids and your parents are ready for their naps
- Your kids and parents are both bringing home crafts they made at their respective daytime programs
- You spend equal amounts on gifts for birthday parties and “In Memoriam” donations
- Wheels have become your life savers, whether on a stroller, rolling walker, wheelchair, shopping cart or bundle buggy
- You get tech tips from your kids so you can give tech advice to your parents
What have I missed? Make your suggestions below!
Be thankful you still have your parents even if you sometimes feel you are parenting them.
One day the tables will turn and you will need your kids to help you.
It’s called family and means love.
Nobody wants to burden their kids. We all hope it will not happen to them.
Both my parents died too fast. How I would love to have a good old talk to them and not fly home to attend a funeral.
Just wanted to share my experience. Good luck!
found your blog, keep it up, made me laugh, I am an only child, my mom died two years ago, my dad is terminally ill with little time left, my kids (the youngest is 21) are having kids, I am alone in Don Mills, as my husband and family live hours away. You made me laugh and cry. Thanks. I am presently testing waterproof mascara for various cosmetic companies.
Thanks so much for your comment, Trish! Sounds like you are facing some challenges – glad I was able to bring a bit of laughter to you. When you find the right waterproof mascara, please share as I could use it as well.
Well, our situation is a little different. Our son and family live here and upon their request we came here from Montreal to help with childcare. Luckily we’re retired. We bought a small apartment in a coop across from the Shops at Don Mills, we would not have been happy with any other location, its fabulous. We can walk to all the amenities, we shop entirely too often at Mckewan’s and our credit card reflects that.
We’re thrilled to have formed a wonderful bond with our granddaughter by being full time daytime caregivers for two years…and the added benefit is that it certainly kept us in shape.
Now we have a new grandson and mom will be kicking in with the pick up at daycare and driving. We’re heading back to Montreal to dispose of massive amounts of belongs and to sell our house, but not giving up our little 800sq.ft pied-a-terre here in Don Mills.
Our son would love for us to move to Toronto but the cost is prohibitive and we don’t have a network here if we should need assistance. In Montreal we have a large extended family to count on. So we’ll buy a small condo in Montreal and keep on shuttling back and forth until that will no longer be possible. My husband and I are both in very good health and very active for now. I can’t imagine becoming a burden to our son and daughter-in-law in the future.
Thanks for sharing your very positive situation. So great for your children and grandchildren that you have good health and can help out. Enjoy every minute of your bi-city life!